Looking for self improvement ideas? Interested in personal development? NLP offers a straightforward way to make those changes and become more resourceful individuals.

NLP gives us personal development techniques for self improvement. It provides us with the ability to manage our inner states, set clear outcomes and make positive choices for ourselves.

“To be or not to be”. Even Shakespeare realized that having a choice is so important to the individual. Having the ability to weigh up the options, make a judgment and then make a selection empowers us and gives us control in the way we live.

Each and every day we are bombarded with choices and decisions. Many of these are relatively simple...what to eat for lunch, stairs or elevator, decaf or regular and the larger decisions, spend or save, Democrat or Republican, beach or mountains. Even though we make such choices regularly we may not always be conscious of one of the biggest and important life changing decisions we can take each day.

I remember when I first moved here to New York City from London, I was overwhelmed by the choices I was being asked to make…and that was just ordering breakfast at the local diner. Having decided I wanted a fried egg with toast, the waitress proceeded to rattle off the list of ways my eggs could cooked, …over easy, over well, sunny side up etc etc. Once that matter was settled we moved on the decision about the toast…what kind of bread I wanted, whole wheat, white, rye…and whether I wanted it buttered or not. By the end of ordering what I considered to be a fairly standard meal, I had already made a large number of decisions. Now, these were hardly life altering choices, but just goes to demonstrate that our lives are full of options and that most of us are accomplished decision makers. Even in the areas of lifestyle, political affiliations, or religious choice we make the decisions that shape our lives with thought and consideration.

All too frequently we spend a great deal of time and energy making these kinds of decisions. Now some decisions are major life choices and require careful thought and consideration and yet how much time and energy do we put into choosing how to think about our inner states and emotions. How much consideration do we put into how we react to people and events around us? Do you find yourself saying things like "He makes feel frustrated" or "she makes me feel unloved"? I know I did.

Before I learned about NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) I didn’t realize that I had the ability to make one of the most fundamental and important choices in my life. I was certainly one to say things just like that. “You’re making me so angry” was one of my stock phrases and at the time I really believed that the other person’s behavior was making me furious. I was all too keen to blame someone else for the way I was reacting or feeling.

As long as hold onto the idea that "he/she is making me....." then we give control to the other person. We are allowing them to be in charge of our reactions and emotions. If we think about this for a moment we can begin to realize the importance of this. How can someones words or actions really "make me feel" anything? I know that I am the only one in control of my own mind, and therefore it is my own thoughts that influence my emotions and behavior, so I must be the one who is making myself "mad" or "angry".

In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) this means living at “Cause” rather than “Effect”, to choose to be at the ‘action’ position rather than reacting to other peoples’ behavior or choices. Being at “Cause” means, very simply, in this example:

*being in control of my inner state *managing my emotions and behavior *choosing to be open to more resourceful options *having the ability to select the best for myself

as opposed to being at “effect”:

* only being able to react to others behavior * allowing others to take control * limited choices

Being at Cause places me in a more resourceful state, one where I can opt to take responsibility for my choices rather than act in response to others. We pride ourselves that we live in a free democracy, where we have a choice as to who to vote for, the news channel we watch, or the music we listen to. Now, with NLP and the idea of “cause and effect” I am able to choose to be in control of my reactions, of my inner state and my emotions. I can truly choose “to be or not to be”.

Sarah Carson is a Director of The International Center for Positive Change and Hypnosis located in New York CityShe is an NLP Master Practitioner and Certified Hypnotist. The International Center for Positive Change and Hypnosis offers NLP certified Practitioner and Master Practitioner training, workshops and seminarsNLP Practitioner Training