How to Handle Stress for everyone, but intended for mothers

by: Bobbi Miller-Moro

This is for all the mothers and women out there in the world.

If you are a human being at one time or another you will experience stress. To have stress, first you need to understand stress. Before, I break it down, I would like to have a precursor that I am not an expert on this subject. I am simply a wife, mother of five, entrepreneur and producer of films and life that have found way to combat, and eliminate this harrowing experience called stress. What is stress?

The medical definition says that stress: "...releases powerful neurochemicals and hormones that prepare us for action (to fight or flee). If we don't take action, the stress response can lead to health problems. Prolonged, uninterrupted, unexpected, and unmanageable stresses are the most damaging types of stress." and "Stress is the emotional and physical strain caused by our response to pressure from the outside world. Common stress reactions include tension, irritability, inability to concentrate, and a variety of physical symptoms that include headache and a fast heartbeat."

Life occurs overwhelming and unmanageable. There is a loss of power, and it seems like you are being squeezed inside a vice grip. Sometimes you can't breathe, get dizzy spells, high body temperature, headaches, and irritability. I can go on and on with symptoms. How to eliminate stress.

Well, there are a couple things that worked for me. I will number them, then break it down.

1. I recreate my environment to fit my needs, wants, desires. 2. I stop. Slow down. Break things down one at a time. BREATHE. 3. I create a plan. 4. I get into action on the plan.

Step One:

1. I recreate my environment to fit my needs, wants, desires. What this means is I simply arrange my life around me to fit my needs, wants and desires to eliminate the stress before it starts. Examples: My house is too small and cramped and the kids are living like sardines and in our work space. This is an obvious stress inducer. Another example: My clothes are all too tight or too big and don't fit properly. And yet another: My work situation sucks and I want a change. * Note: relationship stress between you and a partner is another whole exciting chapter, but same principals apply. Let's work on one example. My home was driving me mad due to the fact that we were cramped and the babies had nowhere to put their toys and play outside. Everyone was in our office, or the other way around because our office was in the family room. It was a constant state of stress for me. What did I do? I moved. I know it sounds simple, but this is the truth we will complain about something for oblivion, but do nothing about it. This is called a 'non committed complaint'. This is a complaint that has no resolve or real action associated with it to create a solution. Result: You drive yourself nuts, and everyone around you.

The move was more money, so we had to save and sell a lot of our items (we needed to get rid of anyway). We looked at 30 homes before we chose the right one. It met all of our needs. My end result: It eliminated the stress level completely in that area, and I am satisfied. (yes men, woman can be satisfied).

I initiated the idea to move, the plan, looking, choosing, and moving. I took the action. I waited for no one. Moving on.

2. I stop. Slow down. Break things down one at a time. BREATHE. This one took me a while to figure out. I noticed when I was under stress, that I was really bothered by how I physically felt. I also noticed that I felt like I was running standing still. Now, that is frustrating. The more I noticed that, the more concerned I became and the more I wanted to stop it, but I couldn't because i was too stressed out and I wanted it to stop now....then I gave up and just hated everyone. There is another way. I call it the: Stop. Look. Listen. Simple kindergarten steps. But, it works. The very first thing I do when I feel the stress hit my system, is Stop & Breathe. Just breathe. It helps if I stay alive, so i might as well put more oxygen into my system. I breathe for a minute of so, then I stop the thoughts and the reactions that follow.

Questions to ask:

•"What happened?" •"What am I going to do about it?" •and more importantly: "What am I not going to do about it?" •"What actions could I take to solve this problem?" •"How do I utilize my situation for my benefit?" •"How do I enroll others around me to 'help' solve the problem in a calm, meaningful manner?" (you lead by example).

This sounds so articulate. How could you possibly maintain this type of logical thinking in the face of chaos? I have the answer: If you practice the opposite, you will get nowhere-but more chaos. So, if you think calmly and rationally you will have no chaos. Which came first the chicken or the egg? This strategy is to slow down, breathe and asses the situation. Ok, this is what happened. This is what I want to do about it. This is what I am not going to do about it. Is anyone physically hurt? Take care of that immediately. Is anyone dead or going to die? Although that sounds extreme, that puts things in perspective. At the end of the day; this truly is something to just handle. This is a circumstance, and it might be mighty uncomfortable at first-but with some thinking, the solution is usually just a moment away. The calming of your body, the breathing, the rationalizing and getting real to the facts of what is happening and not happening will STOP THE ENDORPHINES that freak us out.