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- Creating Stress in Your Life with Have-to, Must, Need-to Sta
- By:Sera Redmonds
“I have to finish the report today by 4 so that it can reach them by 5 and all formalities get completed today.” As you add another thing in your to-do list you feel like a bang on your head! You need not when you can handle it… hold your horses!
Are you demanding too much from yourself with the haunting words like Have-to, Must, and Need-to? You can fight with the world outside you, but what will you do when you are damaging your own self by talking all wrong things with yourself? We actually do not pay much attention when we talk to ourselves…I am referring to self talk. It is very important to assess what you are saying to yourself and how. You can stress and un-stress yourself by the way you talk to yourself.
You have created a vision and want to do everything according to your vision, so you ‘have to’, ‘need to’ and ‘must’ do it in that way. But, truly speaking, in order to move forward in life, in the way we want, there is actually no need of these stress creating phrases. If you understand and prioritize your requirements, they will automatically fall in place. On the contrary, by saying demanding statements to yourself you ruin the possibilities of being rational and setting logical expectations thus make yourself more vulnerable to stress.
What actually happens when you use demanding statements to yourself? The fear of failure creeps into your mind that opens up your imagination for ‘what-if’ situations. “I have to finish the report today by 4 so that it can reach them by 5 and all formalities get completed today.” You have demanded something from yourself, so another statement in the back of your mind will bother your subconscious mind, “What if I can not finish the report on time!!” The ‘what-if’ situations will endanger the consequences and mark it as ‘terrible’, so you are all the more under stress. These situations are normal but if you can get yourself into a thick soup by self-talk, you can pull yourself out too by using the same way...”Self Talk”
How do you do it?
• First, replace those ‘have to’, ‘need to’ and ‘must’ with ‘I prefer’, ‘I desire’ and ‘I want’.
• Reduce the ‘terrible’ to a simple ‘bad’.
• Assure yourself that you can stand the consequences of ‘what-if’.
• Be logical. If you cannot finish the report within 4 PM, the consequences are not that terrible, you can handle the situation.
Overnight change is not possible as this is a time taking process which will turn into a habit with practice. Start with paying attention to your self-talk style and logically analyze and replace them with better words. If you are able to do it consciously and enthusiastically, with time this will turn into your habit. One day you will be amazed to find less stress in your life and you will start enjoying every piece if work that you do.
About the author:
The author, Sera Redmonds, addresses mental health related issues. If you wish to seek help for psychological problems to help yourself or your loved ones or if you want to buy xanax online you can log on to http://www.xanax-effects.com for more information and advice.