Tired of seeing all those commercials with skinny models and buff guys? Frustrated at the looks you get when you make an appearance at the gym? Irritated at your family constantly harping on you to "lose some weight!" and "Eat your salad"?

Well, I've got the solution to your problem! Here in no particular order are several things you can do to avoid shedding those pounds. As long as you're happy with yourself, you gives a fig about what anyone else thinks right? Well, here you go:

1. Balanced meals? BAH! Life is short right? So why spend a good portion of it eating things you really don't care for? Instead of eating salad and drinking healthy drinks, go for the triple-heart-bypass-on-a-plate burger with the extra order of super GINORMOUS fries smothered in gravy. While you're at it, suck down a six pack of beer. Gotta keep hydrated right?

2. Exercise, who needs it? You've seen them. You know the type. Those people that get on some cardio machine or other and then proceed to sweat their faces off for about 30 minutes. By the end, many are draped over the machine, praying for release. Why bother? Just stay inside all summer and watch tv. Absolutely no pain there. And that Dr. Phil guy is pretty interesting....

3. Still hungry? Eat a snack or two or three. Try chips followed by cola topped off with cheesecake garnished with chocolate sauce. You have to keep your strength up!

4. Avoid going to the doctor for a yearly checkup. All this is really is a waste of time, and anyway you're not actually going to listen to the doctor if he gives you advice on getting in better health, so why bother?

5. So, your family, wife or significant other is freaking out about your latest physical. They absolutely INSIST you lose weight. But you still don't want to exercise or eat right. No problem! Just go out and buy one of those fat burning pills. They promise to melt your pounds away. Then your family members can stop picking on you.

And there you have it, 5 ways that you can use to not lose weight. Fight the power!! Want to learn more? go here.